The 2013 Shower Gellies™
Oscar night in Hollywood, and time again for my annual Chicago Addick Shower Gellies™ awards.
If you have clicked on here to read about Charlton’s FA Cup run, then I can only apologise, yet if you Googled shower gel, then this will probably be the best five minutes of your life.
No red carpet and no long and platitudinous speeches, but there will be awards, the much sought after Gellies™, incredibly (I amaze myself sometimes) the 8th year I have presented these notorious awards.
Since last February I have kipped in 22 hotels, and I believe mostly showered in all of them as well. I can’t tell you how pissed off I get when hotels charge the equivalent of a quarter of an hour in Wayne Rooney’s company, have beds that are like sleeping on big white fluffy clouds with 46 pillows, television screens the width of a credit card and showers that are glass encased tardises yet expect you to bathe with a thimble of watery liquid, and that’s if you are lucky.
For me hotels distinguish themselves by the quantity and quality of their shower gel. I know…. I am a little strange, but I am a Charlton fan, no train timetables for me, just Radox and Lynx.
So, ladies and gentlemen. Drum roll please…. here are the winners of the 2013 Chicago Addick Shower Gellies™:
The Shower Gel Heaven Award Winner is: Ocean Club, One & Only, Bahamas
Come on down Ocean Club. Not only did this hotel star in Bond’s Casino Royale, it also starred in the shower gel stakes with mountains of Molten Brown.
The What Do I Have To Do To Get Some More Shower Gel Around Here Award Winner is: Ritz Carlton, Bachelor Gulch, Colorado
A beautiful property that we have stayed at three times previously but I thought standards slipped this year, no more so when asking for more shower gel. We almost had to beg for more and it wasn’t good enough.
The Showering In Fresh Air Award goes to: Hyatt Regency, Coral Gables, Florida
How they thought a family of three could survive on one teeny vial of shampoo I will never know. It amazes me that hotel chains overlook details like this.